Fandom turns ugly

The latest chapter in my saga of mistaken identity:

From: m lay
Date: Fri, Dec 19, 2008 at 11:16 PM
Subject: to
To: saisai[AT]gmail.com

fuck you}

Wow. Even my fake fans hate me. That's just sad.

Exam 4: Done!

Subject: Constitutional Law II--Free Speech.

Length: 8 hours, 4 questions, 3,000 words.

Plan of attack: Well thank heavens I read for this class...

Distinguishing feature(s): Having a question include the words "In your opinion...". Seriously, how often does that happen on an exam?

Next move: 1) Heat. 2) Eat. 3) Pack. 4) Sleep. 5) Shuttle. 6) Airport. 7) Fly. 8) Home.

That's it, folks. I'm half a lawyer. God save us!

Exam 3: Done.

Sorry this is delayed. I took the rest of yesterday off. Anyway, yeah, Exam 3 is done done done.

Subject: Corporations.

Length: 39 multiple choice (3 hours), 2 essays (1 hour). Yep. 4. Hours.

Plan of attack: (1) Make sense of questions (2) Guess answers (3) Pass.

Distinguishing feature(s): Not that it isn't lovely to have a multiple choice question not actually ask a question, but maybs that could be avoided in the future?

Next move: Well rested, well tested!

For KT (& the human race)

Psst!

Pollution makes boys with tiny penises.

Pass it on.

Honestly, who throws a shoe?!

From The Huffington Post: At President Bush's press conference in Iraq with Iraqi President Maliki, an Iraqi journalist--who had previously been kidnapped by Shiite militiamen--stood up and threw his shoe at President Bush, then bent down, fetched his other shoe, and threw that one too.

President Bush's response:

"So what if the guy threw his shoe at me?" Bush told a reporter in response to a question about the incident."Let me talk about the guy throwing his shoe. It's one way to gain attention. It's like going to a political rally and having people yell at you. It's like driving down the street and having people not gesturing with all five fingers. It's a way for people to draw attention. I don't know what the guy's cause is. But one thing is for certain. He caused you to ask me a question about it. I didn't feel the least bit threatened by it."

See the link above for video and photos. Notice the President's quick reflexes. Quite impressive!

UPDATE: A Saudi man has offered $10,000,000 for the shoe.

UPDATE 2: I'll be just as surprised as you if I'm the first person to make this joke.

Also news: sand

Thanks to Man Dartin for this addictive link, better late than never.

This is sand.

Kanye, stick to producing.

He's on SNL tonight. The guy can't carry a tune to save his life. It's not like the melodies are so complicated, either. And he has a guy in the back of the stage to hit the high notes for him! Like we won't notice if the pictures on the video screens are cool enough or something.

Srsly K-West, stick to what you're good at. Singing ain't it.

Hey, come back!

Harvard has stolen Lawrence Lessig from Stanford. He couldn't stick around for me to take, like, ONE class from him before peacing out? Not cool, dude. Not cool. (Via VC.)

Exam 2: Done.

Subject: International Intellectual Property.

Length: 2 questions, 4 or 5 pages, 3 hours.

Plan of attack: Ps get JDs!

Distinguishing feature(s): Isn't it great when you decide not to go to class for the last month of the semester and then the test is overwhelmingly stocked with material from the last month of the semester? I love when that happens!

Next move: I got me a big ass bottle of Lambic Frambois [the girliest of the girlie beers] and am cracking that open. Okay, now. Bye!

Exam 1: Done.

So thus endeth my first ever SLS exam. Woo!

Subject: Criminal Procedure--Adjudication (read: bail to jail).

Length: 6 questions, 3 and 1/2 hours.

Plan of attack: Do. Not. Fail.

Distinguishing feature(s): Who names a character in a law school exam fact pattern Darla? I mean, honestly.

Next move: Fix bike, go home, wash mountain of dishes, watch West Wing, study study study for my final tomorrow. Brilliant!

Shopping revolution

I'm taking a break from this Day of Productivity (hello finals right around the corner!) to extol the virtues of online shopping for the holidays. Oh. My. God. My shopping this year was so easy! I did everything through Amazon.com: I opened up a new cart for the holidays, and every time I'd think of something I wanted to get someone, I could open up the cart from anywhere and add it in. Or, if I changed my mind, it was so easy to go in and just click "remove." (It helps that I give mostly books, which Amazon tends to sell cheaper than traditional bookstores.) A couple days ago I finally hit "submit" and now everything is expected in my box this week! Amazing! Now to get some wrapping paper: I think it'll be therapeutic after two days of back-to-back crappy finals to spend Friday night making my gifts pretty and shiny.

iTunes Genius

Apple is trying to woo me back, to win its way into my favor with its nifty new features. Hear me now, Steve Jobs: it won't work! Do all the shiny things you want--I can resist your charms. My iPod saga is still fresh in my memory. In fact, I'm wounded all over again just thinking about it. And for healing, I return to my playlist.

Well, I mean, if you really want to get serious, I might accept an iPhone with your long letter begging my forgiveness and asking for another chance. Just saying.

Finals time

When it comes time to buckle down and study at the end of the semester, my reading habits change. I stop reading the news entirely and instead stick to web comics, celebrity blogs, and friends' websites. I stop watching TV--and if I do watch something, it's bad reality TV on Bravo or some such junk. Music is on at all times. I eat a lot. I have dreams and remember them (not typical!). Sometimes I feel an obsessive need to scrub the bathtub. Basically, things get weird.

I have six days til my first exam, one more the day after that, and two the next week. I may blog six times a day until then, or not at all. I may be up all night once or twice with my books. Last year this process was, at times, perversely fun. Now it just sucks. I can say one thing for sure: I'll never take a four-final semester again. Ever.

Hey believers out there: pray for me, will you?

Absurdity of the day

At VC, David Post writes:

As many of you know, "patent trolls" are parties that buy up issued patents for the sole purpose of using the patents offensively to collect licensing fees (or, failing that, to sue for infringement) from 3d parties. There's been lots of writing about the phenomenon over the past several years and about what it says about the (sorry) state of our current patent system.

In a new wrinkle, it appears that Halliburton, Inc., has filed a patent application claiming a patent for the process of patent trolling! Pretty cheeky!!

According to the WSJ law blog, Halliburton claims that it does not intend to "apply the technique offensively" -- i.e., it's not trying to monopolize the business of patent trolling -- but rather it "intends to use any patent that may issue from this application defensively to discourage entities that engage in such tactics."

There is, incidentally, approximately 0% chance that the patent will be granted.

Nice try, I guess.

Idiot's guide to subprime loan-induced economic collapse

This is what I've been looking for. Thanks Abhay!

More exam-appropriate humor

Free Speech prof gem of the day

Today he was trying to convince us it'd be a waste of time to try to find our take-home exam's fact pattern in some "podunk district court case" as we write our responses. The inducement? "You all are much more competent than the average district court judge." Scary.

Thanksgiving is over

As the push towards finals begins (ugh), I leave this weekend with an appropriately-themed lolcat. Srsly, what else were you expecting?