My life is Persian

"My parents think playing basketball will make you taller."

"I don't have a middle name."

"Whenever an attendance is read and there is a long pause, I know my name is coming up. And I know they'll butcher it."

"I always have to explain to my non-Iranian friends why there is a watering can in my bathroom."

"Today I shaved... and now I have to shave again."

My people have arrived. MLIP.