Mindless Rant Edition: Alejandro

Lady Gaga can put whatever she wants on her crotch, if you ask me. Is her licking a rosary offensive? Are her nun's habit and pope outfit blasphemous? Hey Katy Perry, what's blasphemous is priests fucking children and the pope--the real one, the one with ridiculous amounts of power--knowing about it and doing nothing hiding it. Until the church gets its house in order, how about all the tsk-tskers just STbloodyFU.

Tomorrow Alert

RAPID UPDATE. So, I won't be drawing Mohammad tomorrow. I don't want to offend my (very progressive, btw) family members who feel strongly about their religion. But I will be thinking--fervently, angrily--that if someone wants to draw Mohammad tomorrow, they should be able to without being censored, threatened, or hurt. Okay, devout Muslims, so be offended. I am offended by the idea that women are responsible for containing the sexuality of men (hello, hejab). I am offended by the shunning, beating, and killing of gay people for their sexuality (hello, Iran). I am offended by the belief that violence against others brings rewards in heaven (hello, jihad). But you don't see me threatening anybody about it, do you? NO.

Condensed comment on the Catholic church

The video won't embed right, so just go here. You may be offended, or you may fall in love with me. Both equally possible.

The man has a point

From Dan Savage on The Stranger's blog, Slog:

"A Catholic school in Colorado is kicking out a preschooler because the child's parents are lesbians. The child also will not be allowed to re-enroll next year at Sacred Heart of Jesus Catholic School. The Denver Archdiocese posted a statement Friday saying the parents are "living in open discord with Catholic teaching." The statement says students in Catholic schools are expected to have parents who abide by church and school policies. The archdiocese said students with gay parents in Catholic schools would become confused."

"No doubt the school has already kicked out all the kids whose straight parents are 'living in discord with Catholic teaching' by having divorced and remarried or who've used birth control or who haven't been to mass lately. Right? Hello?"

Didn't even need my advice!

San Francisco's answer to Westboro Baptist Church: spot on, dudes.

"God hates flags" is my personal favorite.

Rickrolling: not even the WBC is immune!

Counterprotest of one

So the Westboro Baptist Church (the "God Hates Fags" people) are coming to campus to protest outside the Hillel center on Friday. Students are organizing a counter-protest of some kind. I doubt I'll go--it is at 8am. But were I to join the public opposition, I'd advocate simple laughter. After all, these WBC people are just ridiculous. Here are a few snippets from their website [all errors, jargon, funky caps, and 8th grade AOL-speak theirs]. They really speak for themselves.

• Contemporary Jewish Museum - BORING on steroids, God H8s U . . . Our God reigneth, Our God caused the punishment which you commonly refer to as the Holocaust. OH PLEASE! You ain't seen nothin' yet! AMEN!
• ADL San Fran style - You liars are leading bros to hell! You got a problem with WBC telling people what the Bible says on the subject of Jesus Christ, the fact that Jews Killed Jesus and that unless they repent of that crime they can NEVER see the Kingdom of Heaven? Too stinking bad. . . . Yes, it might be nice to be treated fairly and kindly by you haters - but not to the destruction of our never-dying souls. AMEN!
• JCC San Fran Style - Jews are Fags Really, 2 True! WBC will have signs of truth and warning for these rebels who enable sin all around the world! Zionist freaks: It's NOT your land! What did you steal that land for? Give it back! God Hates Thieves! Thou Shalt Not Steal! Thous Shalt Not Kill! Why you tell the fags they're all good? God Hates Fag Enablers.
• Lowell High School - SCHMOOZE FOR JEWS? Tell 'em truth! WBC needs to come and show the little brutes what you all have failed to show them - OBEY GOD! . . . Also to be satisfied, having our senses exercised by these events, satisfied I say that these parents will actually be doing the infants a favor if they just go ahead and eat them instead of doing to them what they have done to these pre-teens and teens in this nation. AMEN!
• WBC to Picket Twitter, Inc.! Now that should get interesting, WBC member(s) Tweeting as they picket outside Twitter, Inc. Won't a black hole or something open in the space/time vortex? Seriously, let us focus in on a few facts, to wit: Twitter is a company which lends itself to mass communication. Why in heaven's name would the great publishers at WBC NOT picket this place? They have a duty to God just like every other person to serve God and to use ALL their resources in their service to him. So we come with hearts of love and joy to humbly suggest they GET ON THAT TASK! . . . Obama's about to take away any/all resources like Twitter to serve him and his Antichristic agenda, so enjoy this freedom while it lasts a little longer. Praise God! AMEN!
• WBC is determined that each place we go, all the children who you adults have lied to to, get this message: TWO WORDS define Antichrist Obama's "Education Plan", to wit: KEVIN JENNINGS, United States Education Czar. This fag who started GSAs and GLSEN Organizations all across DOOMED america. Now 63 years old, with ZERO CHILDREN of his own, this fag is DETERMINED to sodomize all of you children he and Obama can get their filthy, bloody hands on. Flee these lying false prophets, kids.
• Congregation Beth Israel & Day School - Rabbis Rape Boys! You pretentious Jews are in BIG trouble, and WBC has the duty - job really - to tell you about it. . . . Just because you filthy, liars reject the testimony and record DOES NOT make it any less true. Each one of you Jews who refuse to help God's true servants, and hide in your little multiple-level-one-stop shops like this place, pretending to be so holy, selfless and kind are just as guilty of these murderers just referred to. AMEN!
• Obama will shortly bring the trauma to this nation, then as you each turn and gnaw on the bones of all those who you currently profess "love" for, he will step right over your stinking, rotting carcasses (think Haiti corpses piled up, and that stink PEOPLE!)and ascend to his throne of world leader - as promised him by his father the devil. As predetermined by God Almighty, who by the way will be laughing at you brutish cannibals. Tah DAAAAH! Praise God! AMEN!
  

I think "Tah DAAAAH!" is a good place to end. I fell off my chair reading this shit. How can you not laugh?

The question no one is asking?

Why was Congress closed for a holiday today? Isn't there, like, a looming crisis that threatens the stability of the economy and the retirement savings of like a million Americans? They worked through the weekend and now they're taking a day off for New Years? It just seems a little strange to me--I mean, is it an emergency or isn't it? 'Cause if it's not, how 'bout we stop yelling that it is so the markets can stabilize and, you know, correct themselves like they're supposed to. And if it is an emergency, get your butts to work. Is that too much to ask?